Offering Assistance (Happy New Year)

Dear Readers,

Happy New Year!

I would like to thank everyone for subscribing, reading, sharing and supporting this blog. When I uploaded my first post, I would have never expected things to turn out the way that they have. I just saw myself as another girl, and I never would have expected people to care what I have to say. So to say the least, the support has been overwhelming.

Of course, it is the time for New Years Resolutions. With 63% of Australians being overweight or obese (Australian Bureau of Statistics), it is not shocking to discover that the most common New Years Resolution is to lose weight. However, only 8% of people manage to succeed in their resolutions.

Do I make New Years Resolutions? No. I don't think that you need to wait until January 1st to change. Everyday you have the opportunity to better yourself. Whether you want to change by trying harder in school or going goth and shaving your head, you don't need the first day of the year to be a new you.

I set goals everyday. I look ahead. I see where I want to be. And I do not give up for anyone or anything. That was my "Resolution" on July 23rd 2013, and I would hope I can say I have achieved it. But these things aren't short term. These are lifestyle changes, and I think those are the resolutions we should be making.

When I started this blog my goal was to open my eyes. I spent so many years so fixated on my academic career, and of course I still am, but there is a world outside of school, just as there is a world outside of work, university, your friendship circle, you name it. And when I opened my eyes I saw there is a wider community of people who I want to help. Who I want to reach out to.

And truthfully, that was the beginning of this blog. 70 million people around the world have autism, and that means there are 70 million families with an autistic member. And I know from experience that it isn't easy.

And I hope I am helping people. Even if just one person reads my posts and smiles or thinks to themselves "I get it" or "Finally someone understands" then I have achieved what I set out to do.

There are many other ways to help these families, and in particular the siblings. And that is what this post is about.

There are many ways that you can help someone in this situation. And it depends on who you are in relation to that sibling.

For parents, support can be offerred by just making time for your other children. This can be done by always listening to their opinions, understanding when they are struggling to tolerate the behaviour of their sibling, or leaving your autistic child with a family member, trusted friend or babysitter so that you can spend even more time with your children and remind them that you will always have time for them.

For extended family, it is mostly just being understanding. Sometimes my brother misses out on family events such as Christmas celebrations because he is uncomfortable in the situation and may lash out. In other cases, he may embarrass me, my younger brother or my parents by saying something rude or behaving irresponsibly. Despite having such a big extended family, they all fully understand how he may act and know what to expect. Another way that closer family, such as Grandparents, Auntys and Uncles can help is by offerring to look after the autistic child so that the siblings and parents can have a "break". My Grandma is so kind and looks after my brother so that we can all have some time to just relax, hang out in the pool and not worry about what he may be doing when we aren't watching, and we all appreciate the rest more than I could ever explain.

As for friends, being a listening ear who offers guidance is what I love most about my closest friends. They always listen when I rant about how annoying my brother is or how I just can't stand when he chews loudly, or leaves the door open, or doesn't dry his hands, and the list could go on forever. My friends have always helped me laugh at the situation and look at it in a new light. Another way that my best friends have helped me is by just being, again, understanding. They know that when they come over my brother might not leave his room, he might insult them or he might complain about them being here. The way that they make me feel as though I should not be embarrassed for his behaviour and continuosly apologise is how all friends should treat you.

And finally, remember to support youself. Remember that you are allowed to have those breaks, remember that it is okay if you need to cry to yourself about how hard it is. Because it is hard. Take a bath, put on some Gossip Girl or The Big Bang Theory and shut yourself off for an hour. Go for a run around the block, release endorphins and remind yourself that you are here for you. Blast your favourite music and float around in the pool with no intentions until your playlist ends. Or as I have always done, smile genuinly for five seconds. It always makes me feel even slightly less sad.

I wish all of you a Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Love,

E.